Planning a Funeral or Memorial Service

Planning a funeral or memorial is stressful, at best.  Below you will find a simple outline of the steps you should take to ensure the process is as stress-free as possible.  

1.  Contact Trinity 

Please contact Trinity as soon as possible to arrange a date.  We understand that there are possible considerations of out-of-town family and friends and there is no immediate rush.  We will work with you to find a date and time that works best for the circumstances.  We will also provide you with a Funeral Planning Guide to help walk you through the steps of planning a funeral or memorial.  You are welcome to work through this information with your priest when you meet.

2.  Arrange a meeting with the Clergy

Meeting or speaking on the phone with the clergy will be helpful step in gaining closure.  The priest will help you select readings and make suggestions for the service.  You are not required to come in personally but it may find it easier to plan.  Should you prefer, the priest will be happy to make suggestions for the full service which you are free to amend or change.


3.  Confer with Choirmaster and Organist

We do have certain guidelines when it comes to music for funerals.  While we require all music during the service to be non-secular, we are flexible in exactly what that means.   Meeting with organist, Casey Cantwell, who plays all funerals will help you decide on the appropriate music for the service.  If you wish to have secular music, the appropriate time would be at the reception.  Please contact Casey via the above link or by calling the church at 918.582.4128.  Again, if you would prefer, Casey may make music choices for you, if you wish.

4.  Frequently Asked Questions:

Planning a funeral or memorial can be extremely overwhelming.  Below are some of the common questions we hear.  Please do not hesitate to contact the staff, clergy or altar guild if you have questions not addressed here.  

What about the Death Certificate?

Trinity will provide you with a Funeral Planning Guide which contains a worksheet to help you gather the information required to obtain a death cetificate.  The Funeral Planning Guide will also walk you through the various steps of planning a funeral or memorial. 

May clergy other than those at Trinity participate?

The Trinity clergy are always in charge of the service but we will be happy to work with you in having outside clergy assist.  The liturgy will always be from the Book of Common Prayer.  Trinity must invite any other participants so please consult with your priest before you extend even an informal invitation.

What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial?

At a funeral, the remains are present.  A memorial takes place after the burial or cremation and the remains are not present.

Do we have to have Eucharist at the service?

The Eucharist is a part of the prayers of the community, one of the ways the community joins together in giving thanks for God's grace. It is always encouraged and all present are always invited to join in receiving. Yet the Eucharist is never mandated, and your priest will discuss this with you.

Can we have ashes interred in one of Trinity's columbaria?

We have an indoor columbarium and and columbarium garden at Trinity.  Click here to learn more.


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